Camp Lejeune Living: 14 Things NOT to Say to a Military Wife

Hampstead Onslow County Real Estate and Camp Lejeune Homes for Sale | Beth Jones
Relocating or Transferring to MCB Camp Lejeune Marine Corps Base | PCS Expert Beth Jones


Camp Lejeune Homes and Real Estate | Camp Lejeune Links and Information

Featured Homes


Bookmark and Share

Quick Search

Advanced Search

Search by Listing#
Search by Address
.
Free Email Updates

Visit Beth Jones' Realtor Facebook profile
Visit Beth Jones' Camp Lejeune Living Facebook page
Visit Beth Jones' LinkedIn profile
Visit Beth Jones' Twitter account


MCB Camp Lejeune Marine Corps Base Military PCS Resources


Send Beth Jones a TXT Message

rets



Camp Lejeune Living
A Blog for Military Families to Help Navigate their Relocation and Acclimation into the Camp Lejeune Community
Click here to view more Camp Lejeune Relocation Resources
Subscribe to the Camp Lejeune Living blog by Email

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

14 Things NOT to Say to a Military Wife

These were shared with me by one of my "Tweethearts", Jiza, who is a Navy Spouse. You can view her blog at  http://jiza316.blogspot.com/. She rocks! You can also follow her on Twitter - @Jiza316. Just a reminder that if you're not following @LejeuneLiving (that's us!!) on Twitter - you're missing the fun!

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)


2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been
dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? )


4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)


5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)


6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)


7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
(We do learn coping skills. We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)


8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 6-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, and he flew comfortably on a commercial plane. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy Hyundai Excel with a Mercedes convertible.)


9. "Wow you must miss him?"
(This one also gets antoher big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)


10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)


11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)


12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"
(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)


13. "Well in my opinion….."
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

Last, but not least….

14. "OH, that's horrible…I'm so sorry!"
(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our MARINES/soldiers/airmen/coasties/sailors fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)


If you want to say anything, say thank you.

---
Beth Jones Jacksonville and Camp Lejeune REALTOR
SOLD Buy the Sea Realty
CampLejeuneHomefinder.com
(910) 378-6468
---
Jacksonville, NC Real Estate, Condos, Homes for Sale
Onslow County, NC Real Estate, Condos, Homes for Sale
Camp Lejeune PCS Relocation, military relocation, Real Estate, Condos, Homes for Sale
---

Labels: , , , , ,


# posted by Beth Jones @ 9:35 AM


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?



Beth Jones The Tip of the Spear
Keller Williams Realty Jacksonville Direct: .. (910) 378-6468
3840 Henderson Drive Office: (910) 340-5111
Jacksonville, NC 28546 Send Email to Beth
SOLD Buy the Sea Realty, 6329 Oleander Drive, Suite 202, Wilmington, NC 28403



Hampstead Onslow County Real Estate and Camp Lejeune Homes for Sale | Beth Jones
About Beth Jones' Jacksonville and Camp Lejeune, NC Real Estate Website: The www.onslowhomefinder.com web site provides Hampstead, Camp Lejeune, Jacksonville, Swansboro, Hubert, Richlands, Sneads Ferry, North Topsail Beach, Surf City, Holly Ridge, Onslow County and Pender County, North Carolina real estate information and resources to guide homeowners, home buyers and real estate investors through the process of selling and buying a house, condo or other realty property in the Jacksonville and Camp Lejeune area. Beth Jones (also known as Elizabeth Jones, Beth Work, and Beth Work Jones) has services to help you get the best value for your Jacksonville and Camp Lejeune home and this website offers home buyers and home sellers a superior comparative market analysis (CMA), a way to view real estate and MLS IDX listings including virtual tours, prepare your home for sale, and more. Investors looking for real estate investment properties to invest in need look no farther. Anyone selling a home, buying a home or seeking housing can learn more about our real estate services, and will appreciate working with a  Jacksonville and Camp Lejeune REALTOR who knows  the area so well. Through trusted partners, we also provide real estate and financial services to consumers looking for houses for sale or selling their home in Jacksonville and Camp Lejeune, NC, such as mortgages, credit history, new homes, foreclosures and other services. If you've already tried to go the for sale by owner (FSBO) route and find you are needing a partner who you can trust in the sale of your most precious asset, Beth Jones can take care of your special needs. It really doesn't matter if you spell it REALTOR, Realator or Realter, realty, realety or reality, real estate or realestate, Beth speaks  your language.
Great Real Estate Agent Websites for Realtors - Best Real Estate Web Site Design for Realtors (c)2011 HoopJumper WebSystems, All Rights Reserved (949) 309-2299 - Espanol - Sitemap - Sitemap.xml - Search for NC Real Estate
Bookmark and Share